i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
