So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
