im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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