I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
