I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
