How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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