Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
