You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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