Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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