Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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