the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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