I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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