why didn't you poke me back
I cockslap morals
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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