I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We have so much sex to catch up on
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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