i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
