k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
