so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
