Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
