Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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