He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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