A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
