YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
