Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
