Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
