guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
