that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
