What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
