I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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