My nipple is on Facebook.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize