I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
