Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
