Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
People in love make me want to vomit
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
