Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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