It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I need to stop coming to work sober
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
