butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
