sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
