Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
