Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
