apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
