nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
