He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
birth control should be required to get into college
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
