He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Farmville is her only friend.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
