Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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