4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
