the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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