New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
