I'm really into asian looking animals
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
