i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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