Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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