just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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