last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Randomize
