I wannas sexs uuuuu
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
